Second Pause That Can Save A Day And Spare Some Pain
Maybe it’s the life lessons I was forced to learn the hard way, or the toll of loss and failure I had recently endured, but a decade ago, in the midst of a panic attack on my 27th birthday, I had to admit to myself right then and there that the cheerful world of possibility I once felt in my youth now seemed dead inside me. I wanted to feel light and free and ambitious and passionate again, but I didn’t know how. Luckily, I had a wise mom nearby who gave me some good advice. She told me that she could still see a positive, passionate young man inside of me, but that I needed to do some soul searching to reconnect myself to him.
As I attempted to follow my mother’s advice, I remembered that I used to have several daily reminders written on post-it notes hanging on my bedroom wall when I was a teenager. I called them my “10-second reminders.” I would pause for 10 seconds and recite one to myself whenever I felt a wave of anxiety coming over me.
So, I wrote down a few of those same 10-second reminders again, just as I remembered them, and I added several new ones as well. Then I posted them up on the wall in my home office in clear sight. I’ve literally been surrounded by these daily reminders for a decade now. And yes, I still pause for 10 seconds at least a couple times a day, as needed, to recite them to myself. This life-changing daily ritual helps keep me centered even on the hardest days.
For anyone else who’s been feeling emotionally drained and without a real sense of how to take the next step forward, I challenge you to follow my lead. It’s all about keeping the right reminders in an easily accessible location, so they’re readily available during those inevitable moments when you need them most.
To get started, steal some of my 10-second reminders below (most of which are now excerpts from our NEW BOOK), and post them up somewhere you can see them. Then, whenever you catch yourself in one of those draining, anxiety-filled moments, pause for 10 seconds and quietly read one to yourself. See how doing so gradually changes the way you feel, think and live…
quote 1
It's not too late.
You aren't behind.
You're exactly where you need to be.
Every step is necessary.
Don't judge or berate yourself for how long your journey is taking.
We all need our own time to travel our own distance.
Give yourself credit. And be thankful you made it this far.quote 2
One of the most important moments
in life is the moment you
finally find the courage to let
go of what can't be changed.
Because, when you are no longer
able to change a situation,
you are challenged to
change yourself... to grow
beyond the unchangeable.
And that changes everything.quote 3
Forgive yourself for
the bad decisions you made,
for the times you lacked understanding,
for the choices that hurt others
and yourself.
Forgive yourself,
for being young and reckless.
These are all vital lessons.
And what matters most right now is
your willingness to grow from then.quote 4
It's funny how we
outgrow what we once
thought we couldn't live without,
and then we fall in love with what
we didn't even know we wanted.
Life keeps leading us
on journeys we would
never go on if it were up to us.
Don't be afraid. Have faith. Find
the lessons. Trust the journey.quote 5
Stop rushing. Be where you are.
You're where you're supposed
to be at this moment.
There's a time and
place for everything,
and every step is necessary.
Just keep doing your best,
and don't force what's not yet
supposed to fit into your life.
When it's meant to be, it will be.quote 6
You can disappoint people
and still be good enough.
You can fail and still be
smart, capable and talented.
You can let people down and
still be worthwhile and deserving
of love and admiration.
We all make mistakes
sometimes. Take a deep breath.
You are allowed to be human.quote 7
Oftentimes
you don't even realize you're
blocking your own present blessings
by holding on to the past.
Do your best to let go.
You are not your bad days.
You are not your mistakes.
You are not your scars.
You are not your past.
Be here now and breathe.quote 8
REMEMBER:
Inner peace begins the moment
you take a deep breath and choose
not to allow another person
or event to control
your thoughts.
You are not what happened to you.
You are what you choose
to become in this moment.
Let go, breathe, and begin again.quote 9
You will never find your worth
in another human being.
You find it in yourself,
and then you will attract those
who are worthy of your energy.
Realize this. Accept and
acknowledge your own worth.
Stop waiting for others to tell
you how important you are.
Tell yourself. And believe it.quote 10
Forget popularity.
Just do your thing with passion,
humility, and honesty.
Do what you do,
not for an applause,
but because it's what's right.
Pursue it a little bit each day,
no matter what
anyone else thinks.
That's how dreams are achieved.quote 11
If you wait until
you feel 100% ready,
you will be waiting the rest
of your life.
Realize this!
Some people wait all day for 5pm,
all week for Friday,
all year for the holidays,
all their lives for happiness.
Don't be one of them.quote 12
Don't fall back into
your old patterns
of living just because they're more
comfortable and easier to access.
Remember,
you left certain habits and
situations behind for a reason:
to improve your life.
And right now, you can't move
forward if you keep going back.Perspective & Acceptance
Note that none of these 10-second reminders immediately force you to do anything different. They simply represent a shift in perspective. And perspective is where peace and happiness begins. From there, you can change your posture from one of anxiety and resistance to one of acceptance and opportunity.
The goal isn’t to get rid of all your negative thoughts, feelings or life situations. That’s impossible. The goal is to change your response to them.
And this means gradually embracing life’s full range of experiences—even the draining, anxiety-filled ones.
Because, too often we yearn for a very small and selective range of life experiences—the fun times, the happy days, the things that make us feel comfortable. And yet, the full range of our reality is often quite different. Life gives us an extensive array of experiences that evoke feelings ranging from sadness to regret to pride to anger to love to loneliness… to happiness to excitement and more. These feelings are all part of being a living, breathing human being.
So we can revolt against the unfairness of life—the unfairness of having to deal with loss, having to go through adversity, having to feel lonely and uncomfortable and upset. Or we can embrace every experience life gives us, including all our highs and lows—all the blissful moments and painful ones and everything in between. Life is not just happy and comfortable 24/7. It’s well-rounded, it’s full-featured, and it’s real.
Embracing the full range of life’s experiences today means embracing every moment with our full presence, being open and vulnerable to reality, being gentle with ourselves when times are tough, and practicing sincere gratitude no matter what happens.
It means accepting life as it is, and accepting ourselves as we are.
It means not expecting the best to happen every time, but instead accepting whatever happens every time, and making the very best of it.
This isn’t easy, of course, but it’s worth working on.
YOU are worth working on, 10 seconds at a time.
I sincerely hope you leverage the reminders above (excerpts from our new book) to do just that. And if you’d like more reminders and life-changing daily rituals to work with, check out our new book, Getting Back to Happy: Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Reality, and Turn Your Trials into Triumphs.
Also, if you haven’t done so already, watch what happened when Angel and I stepped into Megyn Kelly’s TODAY Show studio a few days ago to discuss the painful personal journey that inspired us to write Getting Back to Happy:
Your turn…
If you’re feeling up to it, we would love to hear from YOU.
Which reminder mentioned above resonates with you the most today, and why?