Judge a person by their questions, rather than their answers. Because
asking the right questions today is the answer.
It’s a harsh
fact that every one of us is ignorant in some way. Although we tend to
pretend otherwise, it’s impossible to know it all.
Ignorance is
our biggest collective secret.
And it’s one
of the scariest and most damaging realities of life, because those of us
who are most ignorant — and thus most likely to spread ignorance — are
often the ones who don’t know it.
Here’s a
quick test:
If you have
never changed your mind about one of your beliefs, if you have never
questioned the fundamentals of your opinions, and if you have no
inclination to do so, then you are likely ignorant about something you
think you understand.
What’s the
immediate solution?
Just move one
step outside of your social bubble and find someone (online or offline)
who, in your opinion, believes, behaves, or handles certain aspects of
life differently from you. Then, have a simple, honest, peaceful
conversation with them. I promise it will do both of you lots of good.
Once you’ve
done that, here are some key truths to remind yourself of on a regular
basis:
01.
Many of the biggest misunderstandings in life could be avoided if we
would simply take the time to ask, “What else could this mean?”
02.
An expert is not a person who always has all the right answers — she’s
the one who asks the right questions, consistently.
03.
Very few of us actively seek new knowledge in this world on a daily
basis. We get comfortable with what we know and we stop questioning
things. On the contrary, we try to squeeze from the unknown the answers
we have already shaped in our own minds — judgments, justifications,
validations, forms of consolation without which we might feel incomplete
or off-center. To really ask something new is to open the door to being
uncomfortable.
04.
Monsters do exist in the real world, but in most cases they are too few
in number to be truly dangerous in the long run. More dangerous are the
common people with good intentions who are instantly ready to believe
and act without asking questions.
05.
If someone can get you asking the wrong questions, they don’t have to
worry about how they answer you. (Be aware of emotional manipulation.)
06.
What goes around comes around. No one has ever made themselves strong by
showing how small someone else is. Everyone you meet is learning
something, is afraid of something, loves something, and has lost
something. Know this, and be careful not to dehumanize those you
disagree with. In our self-righteousness we can too easily become the
very things we dislike in others.
07.
At the end of the day, the questions you ask of yourself determine the
type of person you will become.
08.
Courage doesn’t happen when you have all the answers — it happens when
you are finally ready to face the questions you’ve been avoiding for far
too long. (Note: Angel and I guide our students and Think Better, Live
Better seminar attendees through this process of unearthing their inner
courage.)
09.
Regardless of how much you know, or how many incredible questions you
ask, you can never know it all. To believe that you do is proof of the
contrary. The wilderness around us always holds answers to more
questions than we have yet learned to ask. And that’s a beautiful thing.
10.
Although life will always be filled with unanswered questions, it’s the
courage to seek the answers that counts — this journey is what gives
life meaning. Ultimately, you can spend your life wallowing in
frustration and misery, wondering why life has to be so complicated, or
you can be grateful that you are strong enough and smart enough to
question your circumstances and grow from them. (Note: Angel and I
discuss this in more detail in the “Adversity” chapter of 1,000 Little
Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
Now, it’s
your turn…
To be present
and have patience with everything that remains unexplained in your heart
and mind.
To engage with people today, including those who think differently.
To ask questions.
To listen closely.
To not just grow in knowledge, but to also be a person who gives back.
To let your questions guide you, and then use what you’re learning to
make a difference.
And if you’re
feeling up to it, we would love to hear from YOU before you go…
Which point mentioned above resonates with you the most today, and why?