Happiness
doesn’t start with a relationship, a vacation, a job… or an election. It
starts with your thinking and what you tell yourself today. Remind
yourself of this truth. And remind yourself that the absolute best
lessons we learn in life are the lessons we learn over and over again.
The human mind needs lots of proactive reminders—lots of practice—to
operate effectively through thick and thin. For example, deep down we
know it’s OK to…
Say “no”
Speak up
Tell the truth
Believe differently
Change our mind
Prioritize our needs
Learn from our mistakes
Embrace our imperfections
Forgive and seek forgiveness
Begin again, stronger than before
Yet, we often
seek the exact opposite when life gets stressful and we’re under
pressure.
We do the
wrong things even when we know better.
Because the
human mind has weaknesses. It becomes forgetful and insensible when it’s
stressed. And the only way to conquer these weaknesses is to practice
conquering them.
Now is the
time to practice!
Are you
ready?
The bottom
line is that life will get better when you get better on the inside.
Take this to heart. Start investing in yourself mentally and
emotionally. Make it a priority to learn and grow a little bit every day
by building positive rituals and sticking to them. The stronger you grow
and become, the better your life will feel in the long run.
The best
ritual for beginning this process?
Daily Quotes
and Notes
It’s all
about keeping the right thoughts at the top of your mind every day, so
they’re readily available on those inevitable days (like today) when you
need them most. For Angel and me, that means pausing frequently and
reflecting on precisely what we need to remember. We write ourselves
little quotes and notes like the ones below (all of which are now
excerpts from our books) and then we place them where we can easily see
and reference them throughout the day (mine are taped on the wall
directly in front of my desk). These bite-sized bits of wisdom keep us
on track by keeping our minds centered and empowered with positive,
proactive trains of thought.
So, my
challenge to YOU is to start practicing alongside us today.
To get
started, steal our quotes and notes below—perhaps just the ones that
resonate most—and place them somewhere you can see them. Then, whenever
you catch yourself feeling stressed out, overwhelmed, or confused about
the next best step, pause for a minute and quietly read them to
yourself. See how doing so gradually changes the way you think through
life’s present twists and turns and potholes…
01.
You
can’t control how other people behave. You can’t control everything that
happens. What you can control is how you respond to it all. In your
response is your power.
02.
The
biggest and most complex obstacle you will ever have to overcome is your
own mind. Let that sink in. You aren’t responsible for everything that
happens to you in life, but you are responsible for undoing the
self-defeating thinking patterns these undesirable outcomes create.
03.
The
goal is to change your response to what you can’t control. To grow so
strong on the inside that nothing on the outside can affect your inner
wellness without your conscious permission.
04.
The
older you grow, the more quiet and focused you become. Life humbles and
enlightens you gradually as you age. You realize just how much nonsense
you’ve wasted time on. And you realize just how precious today truly is.
05.
Train
your mind to see what’s right. Positivity is a choice. The peace and
happiness of your life heavily depends on the quality of your thoughts
today.
06.
Your
struggles are helping you grow in ways you can’t imagine. It might be
hard to see right now, but one day you’ll look back and realize things
had to happen the way they did to get you to where you are. Trust that
today’s challenges will be responsible for your future growth.
07.
Peace
does not mean to be in a space where there is no chaos, trouble, or hard
realities to deal with. Peace means to be in the midst of all those
things and still remain mentally, emotionally and physically centered.
08.
If you
wait until you feel 100% ready, you will be waiting the rest of your
life. Realize this! Some people wait all day for 5pm, all week for
Friday, all year for the holidays… all their lives for happiness. Don’t
be one of them.
09.
Be
patient today, but don’t just sit there. Patience in life is not about
waiting—it’s the ability to keep a good attitude while working hard for
what you believe in.
10.
Start
replacing the phrase “I have to” with “I get to” whenever you catch
yourself complaining. So many activities we complain about are things
others wish they had the chance to do. Not everyone has the same
resources and options right now.
11.
As you
struggle forward in the days and weeks ahead, remind yourself, it is far
better to be exhausted from lots of effort, learning and growth, than it
is to be tired of doing absolutely nothing.
12.
Our
character is most evident at our highs and lows. Be humble at the
mountaintops, strong in the valleys, and faithful in between. And on
particularly hard days when you feel you can’t endure, remind yourself
that your track record for getting through hard days has been 100% so
far.
13.
Ten
years from now it won’t really matter what shoes you wore today, how
your hair looked, or what brand of clothes you wore. What will matter is
how you lived, how hard you loved, and what you learned along the way.
14.
If you
have the power to make someone happy today, do it. The world desperately
needs more of that right now.
15.
Build
friendships with people who aren’t your age. Spend time around those
whose first language isn’t English. Get to know someone who doesn’t come
from the same social class. Listen. Be humble and teachable. This is how
you learn and grow. This is how you see the world.
16.
You’ll
always be too much for someone—too sensitive, too big, too loud… too
edgy. And if you round out your edges to make them happy, you’ll lose
your edge. Take this to heart! Apologize for your mistakes—for being
human. But don’t apologize for being who you are.
17.
You
will never find your whole worth in another human being—you find it in
yourself, and then you will attract those from all backgrounds who are
worthy of your energy. Realize this. Accept and acknowledge your own
worth. Stop waiting for others to tell you how important you are. Tell
yourself. And believe it.
18.
Dozens
of times throughout your life, you’ll outgrow what you thought you
couldn’t live without, and fall in love with what you didn’t even know
you wanted. Life will lead you on hard yet necessary paths you’d never
travel by choice. Don’t be afraid. Have faith. Trust the journey.
19.
It’s
not too late. You aren’t behind. You’re exactly where you need to be.
Every step is necessary. Don’t judge or berate yourself for how long
your journey is taking. We all need our own time to travel our own
distance.
20.
Appreciate your progress today. You’ve been through a lot, but you’ve
grown a lot too. Give yourself credit for your resilience, and how far
you’ve come.
Use Visual
Reminders, Too
Written
quotes and notes like the ones above are powerful, but they merely
scratch the surface of possibilities for daily self-reflection. For
instance, I have my laptop’s desktop background set to a photo of my
family, both because I love looking at them and because, when life and
work get really tough, these photos remind me of the people I am
ultimately working and living for. It’s so simple, but it helps.
I also know
dozens of other people who successfully use similar visual reminders on
a daily basis. A course student of ours who has paid off nearly $100K of
debt in the past five years has a copy of his credit card balance taped
to his computer monitor at home; it serves as a constant reminder of the
debt he still wants to pay off. Another student keeps a photo of herself
when she was 90 pounds heavier on her refrigerator as a reminder of the
person she will never be again.
Think of
moments when you are most likely to give in to impulses that keep you
stuck and take you further away from your best intentions. Then use
written quotes, notes, and visual reminders to interrupt those negative
impulses and keep yourself on track.
Your turn…
If you’re
feeling up to it, we would love to hear from YOU.
Which quote
or idea mentioned above resonates with you the most today, and why?