As 2020 winds
down, I know many of us are yearning for a very small and selective
range of life experiences—the happy holidays, the normal times, the
settings and experiences that make us feel comfortable. And yet, the
full range of our present reality is quite different. This year
continues to give us an extensive array of experiences that evoke
feelings ranging from sadness to struggle to pride to anger to love to
loneliness… to happiness to hope and more. These feelings are all part
of being a living, breathing human being, regardless of the season of
our lives.
So, we can
revolt against the unfairness of life—the unfairness of having to deal
with pain, having to cope with uncertainty, having to feel lonely and
uneasy and upset. Or we can embrace every experience life gives us,
including all our highs and lows—all the blissful moments and painful
ones and everything in between. Life is not just happy and comfortable
24/7. It’s well-rounded, it’s full-featured, and it’s real.
Embracing the
full range of life’s experiences this holiday season means embracing
every moment with our full presence, being open and vulnerable to
reality, being gentle with ourselves when moments are tougher than we
expected, and practicing sincere gratitude no matter what happens.
It means
accepting life as it is, and accepting ourselves as we are.
It means not
expecting the best to happen every step of the way, but instead
accepting what happens with each step, and making the very best of it.
This isn’t
easy of course, but it’s worth working on, together.
Making
Progress into 2021
Yes, the New
Year is rapidly approaching.
Let’s make a
pact to enter it with a more open, accepting and resilient collective
mindset.
How?
By committing
the right ideas and intentions to memory.
Over the past
decade Angel and I have written various “notes to self” like the ones
I’ve listed below (all of which are now excerpts from our books), and
then we’ve read and re-read them until they became ingrained in our
minds. These memorized “notes to self” help us stay on track, by
empowering us to make the best and most effective use of the
ever-changing reality in front of us.
We’ve passed
these notes on to our course students and live seminar attendees over
the years, and many of them have thanked us for doing so. I hope YOU
find value in them today, too. And I challenge you to memorize at least
a couple of them before the New Year. (Note: For the sake of not being
tediously redundant, I only wrote “Note to Self” as a precursor on the
first note below.)
01.
Note
to Self: Happiness is letting go of what you assume your life is
supposed to be like right now, and sincerely appreciating it for
everything that it is. So, RELAX. You are enough. You have enough. You
do enough. Breathe deep... let go, and just live right now in the
moment.
02.
Learning to ignore certain people and things is one of the great paths
to inner peace. Once you begin to value your inner peace over your need
to react and be right, you will in fact experience more inner peace, and
happiness.
03.
When
things aren't adding up in your life, begin subtracting. Life gets a lot
simpler when you clear the clutter that makes it complicated. It’s all
about focus. What you pay attention to grows. So focus on what matters
and let go of what does not.
04.
Do
your best to take a deep breath, and another. Remind yourself that the
strongest sign of your growth is knowing you're no longer stressed by
the trivial things that once used to drain you.
05.
You
can’t control how other people behave. You can’t control everything that
happens to you. What you can control is how you respond to it all. In
your response is your power.
06.
The
trick is to enjoy life. Don’t wish away all your days waiting for better
ones ahead. Just appreciate where you are right now. You've come a long
way, and you're still learning and growing. Be thankful for the lessons.
Take them and make the very best of things today.
07.
Forgive yourself for the bad decisions you made, for the times you
lacked understanding, for the choices that hurt others & yourself.
Forgive yourself, for being young & reckless. These are all vital
lessons. And what matters most right now is your willingness to grow
from them.
08.
Everything gets a bit uncomfortable when it's time to change. That's
just a part of the growth process. With effort, things will gradually
get better. Be patient and remind yourself: Life never gets easier, you
just get stronger.
09.
If you
don’t allow yourself to move past what happened, what was said, what was
felt, you will look at your present & future through that same dirty
lens, & nothing will be able to focus your foggy judgment. Realize this.
What you do now matters more than what happened yesterday.
10.
Impress yourself. Show yourself that you can grow and get better. It's
never about competing with anyone else. In the end, it's just you vs.
you.
11.
You
need to do hard things to be happy in life. Because the hard things
ultimately build you up and change your life. They make the difference
between existing and living, between knowing the path and walking it,
between a lifetime of empty promises and one filled with progress.
12.
If you
wait until you feel 100% ready, you will be waiting the rest of your
life. Realize this! Some people wait all day for 5pm, all week for
Friday, all year for the holidays, all their lives for happiness. Don't
be one of them.
Cheers to a
New Beginning
Although none
of the aforementioned “notes to self” immediately force you to do
anything different, they represent a timely shift in perspective, and
perspective is where peace and happiness begins. From there, you can
change your posture from one of tension and resistance to one of
acceptance and opportunity.
Ultimately,
the goal isn’t to get rid of all your negative thoughts, feelings or
life situations as you journey into 2021. The goal is to change your
response to them.
The days,
weeks and months ahead—both before and after the New Year—will be filled
with incredible highs and stressful lows, for all of us. But in any
case, we can train our minds to make the best of the present moment as
it unfolds. Just take it one “note” at a time, and please know that if
you’re struggling with any of this, you are not alone. Many of us are
right there with you, working hard to feel better, think more clearly,
and keep our lives on track. This is precisely why Angel and I wrote our
books and built our course. These invaluable resources are filled with
proven guidance on how to do just that. And believe it or not, Angel and
I review a lot of our own material on a regular basis too, just to
center our minds on these proven principles.
We sincerely
hope you will join us as we prepare to begin anew in 2021.
Now, it’s
your turn…
Before you
go, let us know:
Which “note
to self” above resonates with you the most right now and why?