We all
struggle. We all suffer on the inside. Every day…
We worry.
We procrastinate.
We feel overwhelmed.
We feel angry.
We feel lonely.
We don’t feel good enough.
We wish we were more fit.
We wish we had more money.
We wish our jobs were different.
We wish our relationships were different.
We think post-COVID life should be ‘back to normal’ again.
And yet,
every one of these struggles is self-created. They are real, but they
are only real because we have created them in our minds. We have
attached ourselves to certain ideals and fantasies about how life has to
be right now in order to be good enough for us.
We worry
because things might not turn out how we expect. We procrastinate
because we fear discomfort and failure. We feel overwhelmed because we
think we should be further along than we are. We feel angry because life
should not be this way. And so it goes.
But again,
it’s in our heads.
And it
doesn’t have to be this way. At least not for YOU.
You can think
better… you can live better. This is a choice you can make.
Take a deep
breath right now, and let all that thinking and ruminating go. Just
bring your attention to the present moment. Focus on what’s here with
you now – the light, the sounds, your body, the ground under your feet,
the objects or people moving and resting around you. Don’t judge these
things against what they should be – just accept what they actually are.
Because once you accept reality, you can improve it.
See life as
it is, without all the ideals and fantasies you’ve been preoccupied
with. Let go of all of those stressful distractions, and just experience
this moment.
This moment
is good enough as it is. Be here.
You can go
back to fretting about everything else in a minute.
But before
you do, now would also be an opportune time to remind yourself of some
key truths we tend to deny when we’re stuck too deep in our own heads…
01. There’s a
lot about our lives we absolutely can’t control. –
You
cannot control everything that happens in life, but you can control how
you respond. In your response is your greatest power.
02. Our
expectations often make us utterly unhappy. –
Happiness is letting go of what you assume your life is supposed to be
like right now and sincerely appreciating it for everything that it is.
03. We will
always be incredibly imperfect. –
If you
wait until you’re “perfect” before you share your stories, ideas,
talents, and gifts with the world, no one will ever hear from you.
04. A moment
spent worrying is a moment wasted. –
Worrying will never change the outcome. Do more, worry less. Train your
mind to see the lesson in every situation, and then make the best of it.
05. The best
lessons often come from the hardest days. –
Stand
strong. Sometimes you have to experience a low point in life to learn a
good lesson you couldn’t have learned any other way. (Read On Fire.)
06. Success
easily gets to our heads, and failure easily gets to our hearts. –
Our
character is often revealed at our highs and lows. Be humble at the
mountaintops. Be steadfast in the valleys. Be faithful in between.
07. We
confuse being busy with being productive. –
What
you pay attention to grows. So focus on what truly matters and let go of
what does not.
08. More
money left unmanaged just creates more problems. –
Yes,
we need money to live. Earn it. Save it. Invest it. But avoid spending
money you haven’t earned, to buy things you don’t need, to impress folks
you don’t even know. Manage your money so it doesn’t end up managing
you.
09. Most of
us don’t need more to be happy –
we
need less. – When things aren’t adding up in your life, begin
subtracting. Life gets a lot simpler when you clear the clutter (mental
and physical) that makes it complicated. (Angel and I discuss this
further in the “Simplicity” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy,
Successful People Do Differently.)
10. Our fancy
gadgets often get in our way and dehumanize us. –
We all
need to learn to be more human again. Don’t avoid eye contact. Don’t
hide behind gadgets. Smile often. Ask about people’s stories. Listen.
11. As a
society, we are utterly infatuated with outer beauty. –
If the
whole world suddenly went blind, how many folks would still be able to
see your beauty? Focus within. Be beautiful on the inside too. And
always do your best to see beauty in others.
12. Most of
the arguments we have with one another are pointless. –
Be
selective in your battles. Oftentimes peace is better than being right.
You simply don’t need to attend every argument you’re invited to.
13. We
default to judging others by their actions and ourselves by our ideals.
–
Be the
type of person you want to meet and be around. Be the type of person
whose actions, words, and values always agree with one another.
14. We don’t
always get what we give. –
You
will end up sadly disappointed if you expect people will always do for
you as you do for them. Not everyone has the same heart as you.
15. None of
us know anyone worth continually blaming. –
Steal
your power back. Free yourself to step forward on your own two legs. The
best part of your life will start on the day you decide your life is
your own, with no one to endlessly lean on, rely on, or blame.
16. It’s
easier to hold on to the way things are than it is to let go and grow. –
Letting go and moving forward means coming to the realization that some
things are a part of your history, but not a part of your destiny.
17. If we
want the benefits of something in life, we have to also want the costs.
–
Most
people dream of the rewards without the risks. The triumph without the
trials. Don’t be one of them. Life doesn’t work that way. When you find
something you want, start by asking yourself: What am I willing to give
up to get it?
18. Even with
all our advancements, progress still requires old-fashioned work. –
In a
culture that seeks quick and easy results, we must learn the beauty of
effort, patience, and perseverance. Be strong, be present, and build
positive daily rituals that get you there. (Angel and I build positive,
life-changing rituals with our students in the “Goals and Growth” module
of the Getting Back to Happy Course.)
19. We never
feel 100% ready when good opportunities arise. –
Most
great opportunities in life force us to grow emotionally and
intellectually. They force us to stretch ourselves and our comfort
zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first. And when
we don’t feel comfortable, we don’t feel ready.
20. Many of
us will have our lives cut short. –
One
way or another, none of us live forever. And it’s much harder to change
the length of your life than it is to change the depth of it. So, how
deep will you go today? That’s something you should reflect on. Because
how we spend our days is how we spend our lives.
Closing Thoughts
Again, life
is tough sometimes. There’s so much you simply can’t control, but you
have to let your resistance to this GO. Do not let what is out of your
control interfere with everything you can control. Be mindful. Be
present. Focus on the small steps you CAN take today, and take them! No
regrets. No looking back.
We have no
way of knowing exactly what lies over the horizon, but that’s what makes
every day’s journey interesting and exciting – that’s what makes today
so powerful. Anything is possible!
Your turn…
Which of the
points mentioned above do you sometimes struggle with? How have you
coped? What other truths have you learned and accepted that have helped
you live well in recent times?