Saying “no”
Few people are good at saying “No”. We generally want to please other people and for them to like us. Unfortunately because there is so much to do and achieve in our busy lives, saying “Yes” to more activities is often a mistake. The reason it is a mistake is that over-commitment leads to stress and a lack of focus. You simply cannot do 30 activities in a week and expect to focus and achieve in all of them. If you try to squeeze too much into your life, the really important things get marginalized or left out altogether.
For example, many people say their kids, their marriage and their faith are vitally important to them. But the truth is that in many cases the kids don’t get quality time, the spouses hardly see each other and prayer is something you do when you desperately need something!
How can we solve this problem?
1. List your real priorities.
2. Set disciplined goals, for example:
“I will always go to Johnny’s soccer practice and take him for a milkshake afterwards.”
“As a couple we will have an unbreakable date together every Thursday night.”
“I will read one chapter of the Bible and pray for ten minutes every day.”
3. Say “No” to anything that will get in the way of your priorities or achieving your goals.I remember when I was trying to get really good at playing the guitar I would sometimes disappoint my friends on a Friday night when they wanted me to go to the movies with them – I just said “No”. Sometimes when I set aside time to write, a friend may want to come over. I have to say “No”. On Saturday mornings in Winter I take my kids to soccer, anything else gets a “No”. On Tuesday evenings I pray.
Everyone knows there is no point expecting me to do anything else that night. The answer will be “No!”