Words And Self Talk Part 1
One of the most important but sadly one of the most overlooked factors that affect what we can achieve is self talk.
Researchers have found that of the tens of thousands of thoughts a person has every day, a huge percentage are negative. Often we vocalize these statements and many times we don’t even realize it!
Consider the following:
“What an idiot I am.” “I’m so stupid.”
“I’m useless.” “I’m pathetic.” “I suck at that.”
Then there is the more serious and often not vocalized negative self talk: “I will never succeed.”
“Life is passing me by.”
“I will never achieve my goals.” “Nice guys finish last.”
“I can never lose weight.” “I’m ugly.”
“No-one likes me.”The amazing truth about self talk is you gravitate towards and become what you say to yourself.
If you say to yourself “I can never lose weight”, that becomes an actual reality for you.
If you say “I will never achieve my goals” that will be true – you never will!
We often use words that are damaging to ourselves and others. We don’t mean to. It is simply that very few of have been taught just how powerful words, especially spoken words, really are.
Why is it that great orators and speech makers can move us? Why is it that great coaches can motivate a team with words?
Why is it that great actors can change our emotional state with their words? Why is it that words can build a child’s self esteem or shatter it?
How is it that the words of a song or a book or an advertisement can change our behaviour?
How is it that a well worded argument can change our opinion?
How is it we can be deeply hurt, sometimes for years, by words spoken to us? Because words are far more powerful than we have been taught to believe.
Critical Principle 10: Words are far more powerful than we have been taught to believe.
Because of the huge power words and therefore of self talk, it is critical to pay attention to what you are saying to yourself. The good news is you can practice positive self talk and over time you can change your self talk and therefore your reality by only saying positive things.
There are three techniques I have found very useful:
1. Deliberate Positive Statements
I go for a walk and I repeat a number of positive statements to myself such as: “I’m going to be energetic, enthusiastic, and feel great all day”
“I’m healthy and fit and I don’t get sick”
“I’m going to be the best dad and husband in the world”
These statements focus me on what is important, and cause me to feel and act the way I have spoken it.
2. Override Negative Self Talk
I ensure that I eliminate any negative self talk whether thoughts or verbalizations. If I catch myself in negative self talk, I will over-ride it with a positive statement.
3. Gratitude
Speaking aloud how grateful you are is a powerful way to reinforce positive thoughts and attitudes. We all have many things we can be grateful for:
• Eyes that see.
• Ears that hear.
• A heart that beats.
• Good friends.
• Family.
• A full stomach.
• A roof over our heads.
• Our faith.I start my daily prayer and meditation simply being grateful to God for all of the blessings of my life. It is a great way to stop my focus being on challenges I have or areas of my life I am not happy with.
I also like Jack Canfield’s suggestion that we use self talk as a reverse-paranoia statement:
“Everyone is part of a global plot to enhance my well being.”
That is a powerful positive self talk statement, and it is printed on my wall.
Action Step 13:
Write out ten positive and affirming self-statements and repeat them aloud five times each day. In three minutes a day you will (over time) transform your attitude, your behaviour and your reality.
Have you ever met someone who was determined to achieve something? Someone whose determination propelled them past others who were more naturally gifted?
Determination is simply the physical outworking of self talk statements such as “I will succeed” “I will never give up” “I’m going to make it no matter what gets in my way”.
To paraphrase the philosopher Frank Outlaw:
Thoughts become Words
Words become Actions
Actions become Habits
Habits become Character
Character becomes your DestinyPositive self talk is a key to a huge door in your life. Unlock that door and you will find significant personal development will follow.