Stress
Until the middle of the 20th century the concept of stress was solely the realm of physical stress, for example stress on a piece of steel or stress on a concrete foundation. Now of course we have a publishing empire devoted to human psychological stress, and it is now a job-related sickness and even a medical condition.
But if you boil down all of the research and the plethora of books, stress is essentially:
Doing something you don’t like, under pressure. Think about it:
• Sitting in a traffic jam when you are hot and bothered and in a hurry.
• Working on a boring report for your boss until 3am.
• Trying to find a way to get the 22 items on your “must do” list done by 5pm.
• Interpersonal conflicts with close family and friends.Of course not everything you do in a day is unpleasant. But stress is often caused by trying to fit into our day all of the activities we are really excited about, on top of those activities we have to do but are not excited about. This causes the pressure that leads to stress.
It is critical to remember it is not the volume of work that causes stress. If you are involved all day in an activity you love and are passionate about; even when you have to concentrate for hours, even if you do a 20 hour day, even if there are deadlines to meet, if you really love it you don’t get stressed. Instead you get energized. Energy comes from inside, and you are likely to go into a peak state, not the opposite.
So what is the secret? Find something you love doing, and outsource everything in your life you don’t love doing!
I recently read the autobiography of J Paul Getty who until the time of his death in 1976 was the wealthiest man in the world. He related stories of working all night long and on one occasion 72 hours straight. Stress was never a consideration. He loved building his business and so there was no place for stress.
My own story is similar (minus a few billion!). The times of my life where I have been highly stressed have always been where I have tried to fit into my day or week a whole list of activities, on top of a full-time job I didn’t much enjoy. Even after I started working for myself, the stressful days were where I either put too much pressure on myself or I was involved in part of the business I really didn’t enjoy.
But now I have found a vocation where I truly love every aspect of it. I experience mild stress perhaps three to four days a year. This is amazing considering I trade highly volatile financial markets where sometimes I risk losing thousands of dollars in a short time period. But in those times I find myself in a peak state where I focus and concentrate and I find it energizing and at times exhilarating.
There is only one really good thing about stress. It is a warning sign. In fact often it is the sign you need to change what you are doing or how you are doing it.
Can I make a suggestion? Pause before you seek or accept medication for stress. That could be like putting a band-aid on a broken leg. Perhaps there is an underlying problem that needs to be addressed. In my opinion, treating stress with anti- depressants is often putting a blanket over the real problem meaning that the real problem is hidden and cannot be effectively worked on.
Note: I am not a doctor or a psychiatrist. Consult your physician if you want to make a personal change in this area of your life.
If you are experiencing stress on a regular basis you must do something about it today. Research shows that chronic (long term) stress is linked to the following conditions:
• Anxiety.
• Depression.
• Diabetes.
• Heart disease.
• Obesity.
• Tooth and gum disease.
• Ulcers.
• A suppressed immune system.It must also be emphasized that there may well be factors under your control causing you stress or making a manageable situation unmanageable. Examples are:
• Sleep deprivation (see chapter on Sleep).
• Poor diet.
• Lack of exercise.
• Nicotine.
• Caffeine.
• Health issues.
• Dissatisfaction with your lifestyle.I want to be clear that not all stress can be eliminated, and not everyone can have an immediate lifestyle change. I have a very personal example to share with you.
My lovely wife Fleur was a full-time mom (the most noble and important job in the world) before our three children were at school. Our youngest child Christian is completely wonderful except that his mission in life is to change the world and push every boundary as hard as possible to see where the weak points are. He also only had two speeds, running as fast as he can or fast asleep. He is the most full-on kid anyone we know has ever seen. I could give you dozens of example but let me give you just two.
One, because he is an escape artist we have had to nail his bedroom window closed since he was 18 months old.
Two, when he was three and buckled up in his baby buggy, Fleur took her eyes off him for 15 seconds at the older children’s school, and when she looked he was gone. Teachers and parents searched the grounds. Fleur realized the worst danger was the school swimming pool. Our boy had run out of the school gate, down the road and followed a pool administrator through what was always a locked door.
When Fleur found him, the pool administrator was in the pool office and our three year old was walking down the pool steps into the pool; fully clothed and unable to swim.
But on with the stress story! Christian generally woke for the day at 4:30am and would try to get his way and push the boundaries until 8pm. Like all kids he would try every tactic, grizzling, crying, tantrums, hitting, kicking, biting his siblings, whining – you get the idea. Of course Fleur had to endure this all day long on her own while I was at work. No one except Fleur and I will ever know the unbelievable stress she experienced. It is testament to her that Christian is (a) alive and (b) a beautiful well- balanced, delightful boy and a strong little leader.
Of all the people I have seen and known in my life no-one has experienced the level of sleep deprivation and stress Fleur went through, and it lasted for over two years.
But in this case, no lifestyle change was possible. Fleur didn’t want a nanny or caregiver. You can’t just take a day off if you need it. So I understand that in some cases it is not possible to avoid stress. Sometimes you just have to utilize every support network possible and call upon God and your inner strength to get through.
Sadly there are millions of people in our world who live in far more stressful situations than this; people in war zones, refugees, slaves, prisoners etc. We need to remember them in our prayers, our actions and our giving.
To finish our personal story, if you met Christian now you wouldn’t believe he was the same boy. He is gentle, kind, considerate, funny, joyful and beautiful. Once again this is testament to Fleur’s patience and love. As an aside, had we gone to a doctor Christian would probably have been diagnosed as ADDH or ADDT and medicated. What nonsense! God has made him to be a world-changer, and I predict he will certainly change the world. What a terrible mistake that so many children are medicated for being who God created them to be.
Incidentally Fleur never went on anti-depressants either. Almost every doctor would have prescribed them to her. She could have ticked off almost all of the “depression” tick boxes. But she realized her stress was situation-specific. It wasn’t a chemical imbalance in her brain. It was a very difficult time of life she simply had to get through; similar to times in everyone’s lives for thousands of years! You learn and grow the most in your difficult times – you don’t take anti-depressants.