Overcoming Fear
Everyone has aspirations and dreams they want to achieve, but many people don’t follow through because of fear. There are three main fears that stop people from achieving the lifestyles they want:
1. Fear of Rejection
Take the classic example of the guy who meets a beautiful girl. He really wants to ask her out but the fear of rejection is too strong, and he misses out. Another example is writers who write stories or books, but they never submit them for publication for fear of rejection.
2. Fear of Failure
Some people have such a fear of failure they won’t even start something or initiate a venture in case it fails. There are thousands of people with fantastic ideas for starting a business, but who never take the first step because of the fear of failure. Similarly, there are thousands of people who know they need a radical lifestyle change, but they fear the change will lead to failure.
3. Fear of the Unknown
There are numerous people who are working in jobs or careers they don’t like but they won’t make a change because of a fear of the unknown.
I am fortunate I am blessed with a personality that generally does not fear change or uncertainty. But I remember when I bought my first rental property and when I first started in business, I was nervous.
In order to create your Perfect Lifestyle you need to overcome these types of fears. Here is how you overcome your fears and make your world the way you want it:
(a) Identify Areas for Change
Specifically identify areas of your life you are not happy with and need change. Write them down.
(b) Identify Your Goal
Ask yourself where you want to be in five years for example: with my dream partner, in a job/business I love, in my own debt free house, with a published novel.
(c) Admit Your Fears
Until you admit your fears specifically you cannot address them. Write down your fears. For example: “I fear the unknown and failure if I completely change my career path.”
(d) Consequences
Concentrate on what your life will be like if you don’t change, and emphasise how bad it will be! For example: “If I don’t change I will be stuck in this dead end job until they make me redundant and then I’ll be unemployable and I’ll be broke, and I’ll also die lonely because I haven’t got the guts to date the person I like!”
The more you focus on the negatives of not changing, the more you will be motivated to change. One of the tools I use is I imagine myself as an 85 year old sitting in a rocking chair looking back over my life. What do I want to be looking back on? Success, prosperity, happiness, joy, fulfilment, successful marriage and family, opportunities taken and so on.
(e) Be Decisive
Don’t prolong the pain! Make a decision right now i.e. today! Planning your next five years starts right now. Write that resignation letter now, phone the person you want to date right now! Whatever it is, start the process now.
If you are still having trouble making a decision go back to step (d) and tell yourself over and over how much worse your life is going to be if you stay in your rut.
Action Step 8:
Complete these steps (a) to (e) on a new piece of paper. Take action today!
Remember some of the decisions you make will be mistakes, but that is okay. Mistakes are simply learning experiences. We need to allow ourselves to make mistakes and we need to allow ourselves to fail (see chapter on Failure).