18 Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me When I Was 18
RECENTLY I WAS reading a book at my favourite beachside coffee shop when an eighteen-year-old kid sat down next to me and said, “That’s a great read, isn’t it?” So we started chatting.
He told me he was getting ready to graduate from high school in a couple of weeks and then immediately starting his college career in the fall. “But I have no clue what I want to do with my life,” he said. “Right now I’m just going with the flow.”
And then, with eager, honest eyes, he began asking me one question after the next:
“What do you do for a living?”
“When and how did you decide what you wanted to do?” “Why did you do this? Why didn’t you do that?”
“Is there anything you wish you had done differently?”
I answered his questions as best I could, and tried to give decent advice with the time I had. After a half-hour conversation, he thanked me and we parted ways.
But on the walk home, I realized the conversation I had with him was actually quite nostalgic for me. He reminded me of me at that age. So I started thinking about his questions again, and I began imagining all of the things I wish someone had told me when I was eighteen.
Then I took it a step further and thought about all the things I would love to tell myself if I could travel back in time to give my eighteen- year-old self some advice about life.
So after a few cups of coffee and a couple hours of deliberation, here are eighteen things I wish someone had told me when I was eighteen:
1. Commit yourself to making lots of mistakes.
Sometimes the wrong choices bring us to the right places. So don’t worry about mistakes; worry about what you’re giving up when you don’t try. Worry about the life you’re not allowing yourself to live! No book is one chapter long. No chapter tells the whole story. No mistake defines who we are. Keep turning the pages that need to be turned.
2. Find hard work you love doing.
If I could offer my eighteen-year-old self some real career advice, I’d tell myself not to base my career choice on other people’s ideas, goals, and recommendations. I’d tell myself not to pick a major because it’s popular, or statistically creates graduates who make the most money. I’d tell myself that the right career choice is based on one key point: finding hard work you love doing. As long as you remain true to yourself, and follow your own interests and values, you can find success through passion. Perhaps more important, you won’t wake up several years later working in a career held you despise, wondering, “How the heck am I going to do this for the next thirty years?” So if you catch yourself working hard and loving every minute of it, don’t stop. You’re onto something big. Because hard work isn’t hard when you concentrate on your passions.
3. Invest time, energy, and money in yourself every day.
When you invest in yourself, you can never lose, and over time you will change the trajectory of your life. You are simply the product of what you know. The more time, energy, and money you spend acquiring pertinent knowledge, the more control you have over your life,.
4. Explore new ideas and opportunities often.
Your natural human fears of failure and embarrassment will sometimes stop you from trying new things. But you must rise above these fears, for your life's story is simply the culmination of many small, unique experiences. And the more unique experiences you have, the more interesting your story gets. So seek as many new life experiences as possible and be sure to share them with the people you care about. Not doing so is not living.
5. When sharpening your career skills, focus more on less.
Hard work matters, but not if it's scattered in diverse directions. So narrow your focus on learning fewer career-related skills and master them all.
6. People are not mind readers. Tell them what you’re thinking.
People will never know how you feel unless you tell them. Your boss? He doesn't know you're hoping for a promotion, because you haven’t told him yet. That cute girl you haven’t talked to because you're too shy? Yeah, you guessed it: she hasn't given you the time of day simply because you haven't given her the time of day either. In life, you have to communicate with others. It's as simple as that.
7. Make swift decisions and take immediate action.
Either you’re going to take action and seize new opportunities or someone else will first. You can't change anything or make any sort of progress by sitting back and thinking about it. Remember, there’s a huge difference between knowing how to do something and actually doing it. Knowledge is basically useless without action.
8. Accept and embrace change.
However good or bad a situation is now, it will change. That’s the one thing you can count on. So embrace change, and realize that change happens for a reason. It won’t always be easy or obvious at first, but in the end it will be worth it.
9. Don't worry too much about what other people think about you
For the most part, what other people think and say about you doesn’t matter. When I was eighteen, I let the opinions of my high school and early college peers influence my decisions. And, at times, they steered me away from ideas and goals I strongly believed in. I realize now that this was a foolish way to live, especially when I consider that nearly all of these people whose opinions I cared so much about are no longer a part of my life. Unless you’re trying to make a great first impression (job interview, first date), don’t let the opinions of others stand in your way. What they think and say about you isn’t important. What is important is how you feel about yourself.
10. Always be honest with yourself and others.
Living a life of honesty creates peace of mind, and peace of mind is priceless. Period.
11. Talk to lots of people in college and early on in your career.
Bosses, Colleagues, Professors, Classmates, Social club members, Other students outside of your major or social circle, Teaching assistants, Career advisors, College deans, Friends of friends, Everyone! Why? Professional networking. Over time, you’ll continue talking to new people you meet through your current network and your network’s reach, and the associated opportunities will continue to snowball for the duration of your career.
12. Sit alone in silence for at least ten minutes every day.
Use this time to think, plan, reflect, and dream. Creative and productive thinking flourish in solitude and silence. With quiet, you can hear your thoughts, you can reach deep within yourself, and you can focus on mapping out the next logical, productive step in your life.
13. Ask lots of questions.
The greatest “adventure” is the ability to inquire, to ask questions. Sometimes in the process of inquiry, the search is more significant than the answers. Answers come from other people, from the universe of knowledge and history, and from the intuition and deep wisdom inside you. These answers will never surface if you never ask the right questions. Ask.
14. Exploit the resources you do have access to.
Too often, we don’t make the connections, ask the questions, and pursue the opportunities in front of us. Brainstorm. Make lists. Do the most you can with what you have—and prepare to pay it forward too.
15. Live below your means.
Live a comfortable life, not a wasteful one. Do not live life trying to fool you into thinking wealth is measured in material objects. Always live well below your means.
16. Be respectful of others and make them feel good.
In life and business, it’s not so much what you say that counts, its how you make people feel. So respect your elders, minors, and everyone in between. Supporting, guiding, and making contributions to other people is one of life's greatest rewards.
17. Excel at what you do.
There’s no point in doing something if you aren’t going to do it right. Excel at your work and excel at your hobbies. Develop a reputation for consistent excellence.
18. Be who you were born to be.
Regardless of what you decide to do in your lifetime, you’d better feel it in every fibre of your being. You’d better be born to do it! Don’t waste your life fulfilling someone else’s dreams and desires.
Above all, laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can’t change. Life is short, yet amazing. Enjoy the ride.