20 Things That Will Matter A Lot Less To You In So Years
Too often we let the little frustrations of each day blind us to the beauty in front of us. We get caught up in our own heads and don’t know our lives to be any better than the few things that aren’t going our way. We call people to complain or spew our gripes on social media. “Life is so unfair!” we yell. And everyone agrees and throws their two cents into the gossip pool.
Other times we talk a big talk about a lot of stuff that really doesn’t matter that much. We scrutinize and dramatize the insignificant until we’re blue in the face, and then we sit back and scratch our heads in bewilderment about how unfulfilling life feels.
But the older we grow, the quieter we become and the less pointless drama and chaos we engage in. Life humbles us gradually as we age. We realize how much nonsense we‟ve wasted time on. Here are twenty things we eventually realize matter a lot less than we originally thought:
1. The inevitable frustrations of an average day.
Ninety-nine present of what’s stressing you out today won’t matter a month from now.
Sooner or later you will know this for certain. So do your best to let go of the nonsense, stay positive, and move forward with your life.2. The little failures you often feel self-conscious about.
When you set goals and take calculated risks in life, you eventually learn that there will be times when you succeed and times when you fail, and both are equally important in the long run.
3. How "perfect” everything could be, or should be.
Understanding the difference between reasonable striving and perfectionism is critical to picking up your life. Perfectionism not only causes you unnecessary stress and anxiety from the superficial need to always “get it right,” it actually prevents you from getting anything worthwhile done at all.
4. Having complete confidence before taking the first step.
Confidence is that inner momentum that propels us to bypass our empty fears and self-doubts. Sometimes it precedes action, but more often it follows it. Begin anyway. You have to step out of your comfort zone, and risk your pride, to earn the reward of finding your confidence.
5. The intricacies of what's in it for you.
Time teaches us that we keep nothing in this life until we first give it away. This is true of knowledge, forgiveness, service, love, tolerance, acceptance, and so forth. You have to give to receive. Such a simple point, and yet it's so easy to forget that the giving of ourselves, without a price tag, has to come first.
6. Being an online-only activist for good causes.
Online is fine, but sooner or later you realize that if you truly want to make a difference, you have to walk the talk too. So don't just rant online for a better world.
Love your family. Be a good neighbour. Practice kindness. Build bridges. Embody what you preach.7. The pressure to make a big difference all at once.
When we're young, it seems like faster is better, but in time we witness the power of "slow and steady" to get results. We come to learn that no act of love, kindness, or generosity, no matter how small, is ever wasted. Anything worth achieving takes dedicated daily effort. Over time, you'll look back and marvel at the results you've achieved.
8. The temptation of quick fixes.
The older your eyes grow, the more clearly they can see through the smoke and mirrors of every quick fix. Anything worth achieving takes dedicated daily effort. Period! Honestly, I used to believe that making wishes and saying prayers alone changed things, but now I know that wishes and prayers change us, and we change things. All details aside, when it comes to making a substantial change in your life—building a business, earning a degree, fostering a new relationship, starting a family, becoming more mindful, or any other personal journey that takes time and commitment—one thing you have to ask yourself is, "Am I willing to spend a little time each day like many people won't, so I can spend the better part of my life like many people can't?" Think about that for a moment. We ultimately become what we repeatedly do. The acquisition of knowledge doesn’t mean you're growing—growing happens when what you know changes how you live on a daily basis.
9. Having a calendar jam-packed with exciting, elaborate plans.
Don’t crowd your life with plans. Leave space. Over time you will learn that many great things happen unplanned, and some big regrets happen by not reaching exactly what was planned. So keep your life ordered and your schedule under booked. Create a foundation with a soft place to land, a wide margin of error, and room to think and breathe every step of the way.
10. Being in constant control of everything.
The older we get, the more we realize how little we actually control. Learn to trust the journey, even when you do not fully understand it. Sometimes what you never wanted or expected turns out to be exactly what you need.
11. Blaming others.
Have you ever met a happy person who regularly evades responsibility, blames and points fingers, and makes excuses for their unsatisfying life? We haven’t either. Happy people accept responsibility for how their lives unfold. They know that their own happiness is a by-product of their own thinking, beliefs, attitudes, character, and behaviour.
12. Winning everyone’s approval.
It’s the strength of your conviction that determines your level of personal success in the long run, not the number of people who agree with every little thing you do. Ultimately, you will know that you’ve made the right decisions and followed the proper path when there is genuine peace in your heart—not someone else’s.
13. Saving overly dramatic people from themselves.
Honestly, you can’t save some people from themselves, so don’t get sucked too deeply into their drama. Those who make perpetual chaos of their lives won’t appreciate your interfering with the commotion they’ve created anyway. They want your sympathy, but they don’t want to change. And it’s not your job to tell them what’s right for them.
14. The selfish and disparaging things others say and do.
If you take everything personally, you will inevitably be offended for the rest of your life. At some point it becomes clear that the way people treat you is their problem, and how you react is yours. Start taking full advantage of the amazing freedom that comes to you when you detach from other people’s antics.
15. Winning arguments.
Don’t define your intelligence or self-worth by the number of arguments you have won, but by the number of times you have silently told yourself, “This nonsense is just not worth it!”
16. Judging others for their shortcomings.
The older we get, the more we realize how important it is to give others the break we hope the world will give us on our own bad days. Truly, you never know what someone has been through in their life, or what they’re going through today. Just be kind, generous, and respectful . . . and then be on your way.
17. Society’s obsession with outer beauty.
As you grow older, what you look like on the outside becomes less and less of an issue, and who you are on the inside becomes the primary point of interest. You eventually realize that beauty has almost nothing to do with looks—it’s who you are as a person, how you make others feel about themselves, and, most important, how you feel about yourself.
18. Fancy and expensive physical possessions.
Later in life, your personal wish list for “big ticket” physical possessions tends to get smaller and smaller, because the things you really want and need are the little things that can’t be bought.
19. All the shallow relationships that just make you feel more popular.
It's nice to have acquaintances. Just don’t get carried away and spread yourself too thin. Leave plenty of time for those who matter most. Your time is extremely limited, and sooner or later you just want to be around the few people who make you smile for all the right reasons.
20. Distant future possibilities.
As time passes, you naturally have more of it behind you and less in front of you. But that doesn’t really matter, because the good life always begins right now, when you stop waiting for a better one. Some people wait all day for five p.m., all week for Friday, all year for the holidays, all their lives for happiness. The secret to happiness and peace is letting this moment be what it is, instead of what you think it should be—and then making the very best of it.
Afterthoughts on Making the Best of the Next 20 Years
As you continue to travel the road of life, do your best to avoid letting anyone or anything get in the way of your joy. Live a life that sizzles and pops and makes you laugh out loud every day. Because you don’t want to get to the end, or to tomorrow, even, and realize that your life is a collection of meetings and “some-days” and errands and empty promises.
Go ahead and sing out loud in the car with the windows down, and dance in your living room, and stay up late laughing, and paint your walls any color you want, and enjoy some sweet wine and chocolate cake. Yes, and go ahead and sleep in on clean white sheets, and throw parties, and paint, and write poetry, and read books so good they make you lose track of time. And just keep living and making God glad that he gave life to someone who loves and cherishes the gift..
Think deeply.
Speak gently.
Love lots.
Laugh often.
Work hard.
Give back.
Expect less.
Be present.
Be kind.
Be honest.
Be true to yourself.