18 Things My Dad Was Right About
TWENTY-FIVE YEARS AGO, when I was a freshman in high school, my English teacher gave my class a homework assignment entitled “Advice for a Younger Generation” The concept of the assignment was simple: Each student had to interview a person who was over the age of twenty-five, gather enough information to write a basic biography of their life, and find out what their top tips were for a younger generation. I chose to interview my dad. He was fifty-three at the time and he gave me eighteen pieces of advice.
I had completely forgotten about all this until recently, when I was visiting my parents and was cleaning out a few old boxes in the attic. In one of these boxes I found the original “Advice for a Younger Generation” assignment, dated April 22,1996.1 read through it and was totally blown away.
Even though my dad‟s advice is relevant to a person of any age, my adult self can relate to it in a way my fourteen-year-old self didn't quite grasp at the time. In fact, the first thought I had when reading this list was, “My dad was right.”
Here are his eighteen pieces of advice for a younger generation, transcribed with his permission:
1. Your thirties, forties, and fifties won't feel like your thirties, forties, and fifties.
Adults are just older children. For the most part, you still feel exactly the way you feel right now, just a little wiser and more confident. You‟ve had time to establish your place in the world and figure out what‟s important to you. Don‟t fear growing up. Look forward to it. It‟s awesome.
2. Bad things will happen to you and your friends.
Part of living and growing up is experiencing unexpected troubles in life. Remember that tragedies are rarely as bad as they seem, and even when they are, they give us an opportunity to grow stronger.
3. Everyone can make a huge difference.
It‟s easy to feel small and hopeless. But every kind gesture lifts the spirit, and the choices we make every day matter—to ourselves and those around us.
4. First impressions aren't all they're cracked up to be.
Everyone and everything seems normal from a distance, or at a glance. The tenth, twentieth, or even the fiftieth impression is when you start to truly understand someone else for who they truly are.
5. Big results come when you narrow your focus.
Concentrate your efforts on smaller and smaller areas. When your efforts are diffused over a wide area, they won‟t have much of an impact. Think small, and the effects will be large.
6. Love yourself. Become your own priority.
Strive to be the “you” you want to be. Nourish your mind and body. Educate yourself every day until you die.
7. Sometimes you just have to go for it.
People rarely get it right the first time. In fact, usually the only people who ever get it right are those who continue going for it even when they've come up short numerous times before.
8. In order to get, you have to give.
Supporting, guiding, and making contributions to other people is one of life's greatest rewards. Everything you do comes back around.
9. Not much is worth fighting about.
Don't let a single poisonous moment of misunderstanding make you forget about the countless loving moments you‟ve spent together. If you‟re angry at someone you love, hug them and mean it. You may not feel like hugging them, which is all the more reason to do so.
10. Don't try to impress everyone.
Be real with people instead. Connect with fewer people on a level that is deeper and more profound.
11. Keep having fun.
Fun can seem like an indulgence. It should be a requirement. Make time for fun.
12. Keep it simple.
Pick the five most important things in your life now and focus on those things. Let the other stuff go. Stop the busyness and really enjoy what's important to you.
13. Little things stick with you.
So pay attention to them. Like watching your child sleep. Preparing a meal with your family. Sharing a great laugh with an old friend. This is the real stuff life is made of.
14. Keep your opinions to yourself.
Be a sounding board, not a stage director. The people in your life will thank you— and find their own path.
15. Manage your time.
Be careful not to confuse things that are urgent with things that are important.
16. Manage your money.
Don‟t let your money manage you.
17. What you learn in school does matter.
While you may not use the specifics of every classroom lesson, over time you will develop problem-solving skills that are universally applicable.
18. Dreams will remain dreams forever if you don‟t take action.
Don‟t dream about it anymore. Start doing it. Forty years from now, what is it that you will regret not having accomplished, appreciated, or attempted? Do it, appreciate it, and attempt it now!