12 Relationship Truths We Often Forget
IT'S EASY TO make your relationships more complicated than they are. Here are twelve simple reminders to help you keep them on course:
1. All successful relationships require some work.
They don't just happen, or maintain themselves. They exist and thrive when the parties involved take the risk of sharing what it is that's going on in their minds and hearts.
2. Most of the time you get what you put in.
If you want love, give love. If you'd like to feel understood, try being more understanding. It's a simple practice that works.
3. You shouldn't have to fight for a spot in someone's life.
Never force someone to make a space in their life for you, because if they know your worth, they will create one for you.
4. There is a purpose for everyone you meet.
Some people will test you, some will use you, and some will teach you, but most important, some will bring out the best in you. Learn to see and accept the differences between these people, and carry on accordingly.
5. We all change, and that's OK.
Our needs change with time. Healthy relationships always move in the direction of growth—for the relationship as a whole and for each individual in it. When you connect with a true friend or partner, this person helps you find the best in yourself. In this way, you both grow into your best selves.
6. You are in control of your own happiness.
If your relationship with yourself isn't working, don‟t expect your other relationships to be any different. Nobody else in this world can make you happy. It‟s something you have to do on your own. And you have to create your own happiness first before you can share it with someone else. If you feel that it‟s your partner‟s fault, think again and look within yourself to find out what piece is missing. The longing for completion that you feel inside comes from being out of touch with who you are.
7. Forgiving others helps you.
Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace. Free yourself of the burden of being an eternal victim. When you choose to forgive those who have hurt you, you take away their power over you.
8. You can't change people; they can only change themselves.
Instead of trying to change others, give them your support and lead by example. If there‟s a specific behaviour someone you love has that you‟re hoping disappears over time, accept that it probably won‟t. If you really need them to change something, be honest and put all the cards on the table so this person knows what you need them to do.
9. Heated arguments are a waste of time.
The less time you spend arguing with the people who hurt you, the more time you‟ll have to love the people who love you. And if you happen to find yourself arguing with someone you love, don‟t let your anger get the best of you. Give yourself some time to calm down and then gently discuss the situation.
10. You are better off without some people.
When you have to start compromising yourself and your morals for the people around you, it‟s probably time to change the people around you. If someone continuously mistreats you or pushes you in the wrong direction, have enough respect for yourself to walk away. You'll be OK, and far better off in the long run.
11. Small gestures of kindness go a long way.
Honour your important relationships in some way every chance you get. Every day you have the opportunity to make your relationship sweeter and deeper by making small gestures to show your appreciation and affection. Use your voice for kindness, your ears for compassion, your hands for charity, your mind for truth, and your heart for love. You have the power to improve someone else‟s day, perhaps even their whole life, simply by giving them your compassion and kindness. Do it!
12. Even the best relationships don't last forever.
Because nothing lasts forever. So look around and be thankful right now, for your family, friends, and the health you all have that allows you to share new life experiences.