5 Character Traits That Make You Happy
WHEN WE LOOK in the mirror, it‟s often our character (or lack thereof) that speaks the loudest. But not all character traits are created equal, at least not insofar as happiness is concerned. Based on a decade of one- on-one coaching experiences with students and clients, we've found that the following are those traits we are convinced will have the greatest impact on your happiness.
1. Courage
Fear is the great thief of happiness. It sneaks in closed doors and robs us of resolve and the commitment and ability to endure the challenges we face.
Courage, on the other hand, is fear‟s great nemesis. It allows us to challenge our comfort zones, approach people and situations, embrace life, and accept the pain that‟s inevitable in all of our lives. Without courage, happiness is little more than an illusion.
2. Patience
Impatience is a major bully to happiness. It pushes happiness out of the neighbourhood almost as soon as it shows up.
But learning to accept and allow, to go with the flow and relax a bit, is critical to living a happy life. Impatience is often the irritation we feel at the loss of control. But life bubbles and gurgles in ever-changing and unpredictable ways. It simply is not 100 percent controllable. The more we try to control the outcome of events that boil up around us with any kind of precision, the more frustrated we'll feel.
So breathe. Relax. Take it in. Be patient. Learn to accept uncertainty and buddy up to the unpredictable. Let life happen, at least a little. You'll find it that much more beautiful and joyful when you do.
3. Gratitude
To be grateful is to notice the good amid the bad, the colour against the backdrop of grey, the lovely even as it's surrounded by the ugly. It‟s to count your blessings and recognize how beautiful life is even when life isn't going quite as planned (more on this in the next section).
Learning to be grateful requires seeing what isn't always on the surface. It requires retraining your mind to think about the silver linings in life—letting it permeate your mind-set and the overall way you experience life.
When we‟re grateful, our problems don't disappear, they simply occupy less space in our hearts, minds, and lives.
4. Love
To recognize the centrality of love to living a happy life, just imagine a life lived without it. Imagine a hateful, loveless life of happiness. Impossible, right? The more love that beats in your heart, the happier and more buoyant your heart will be. The more you love life, the more life will love you back.
Love overlooks weakness and closes its eyes to idiosyncrasies. It accepts, seeks, and empowers what‟s best in others.5. Forgiveness
People who hold on to pain, who nurse their wounds, who call out the troops to seek vengeance for the wrongs done to them, may win battles here and there. But the war against unhappiness will largely be lost before it's even started.
Refusal to forgive leads to a self-imposed imprisonment. It‟s time we freed ourselves by letting old pain dissipate into the darkness, so that new opportunities can take us to greater heights of joy.
So, have you forgiven your parents for their shortcomings? Have you forgiven the playground bully or difficult ex, or your neglectful children, or inconsiderate neighbour? If you haven't, you‟re picking at the open wounds that can only irritate, infect, and fester.
Instead, open your heart to forgiveness. Then your heart will finally be open enough to catch its share of happiness as well.